20 juli, 2010

Sexuella bjuder inte alltid på kaka

Jag hittade den här texten på Tumblr och den är hemsk nog för att jag nästan skall gråta.

Hi, my name is Andi.
A few of you may know me has Rawrdom or Rumblerawr.
More of you pro'ly know me as that royal B* who started Hot Pieces of Ace, and than left suddenly.

I would like to take a moment to explain.
I am underage by Muggle standards. Thus, my Parents still have final say in everything I do. They are God-fearing, Tea Party attending, Fox News watching, Conservative Republican Christians. Unfortunately, they are also extremely homophobic and neophobic. I never intended for my Parents to find out I was queer by any degree, including asexuality. I had actually decided that I would never tell them this, as long as I was still dependent on them. I had the privilege of knowing 100% that my parents and family would never accept me as asexual. I confided with my friends, and was out to everyone I could trust. Life was... tolerable. My parents has only suspicions that I was less-than-straight to rely on, and I could easily combat those suspicions. I guess it was only time before Murphy's Law decided to ruin my fun. My mother, in her infinite knowledge of the internets, came across my account on AVEN which lead her to finding Hot Pieces of Ace and my deep involvement with that. Let's just say that when I got home from school that day, fun times were not had by anyone. I would say Guantanimo Bay prisoners would weep at what I was put through, but that's a huge hyperbole. However, from three o'clock that evening to basically ten o'clock at night I was grilled over my involvement with the Asexual and LGBTQAXYZ communities. After about three hours, I confessed I was asexual. At about five hours, I gave them links to all my account. By the end of the nights, almost every account I have online had been purged of asexual references. My original AVEN, tumblr, and myspace accounts were effectively deleted, and ever since that day, the internet connection from my personal computer has been cut off. As I type, I'm looking at a clock screaming 4:30 in the morning and the keys of my dad's hacked into computer. Basically since that day, I have not had internet. I'd like you to imagine a day without tumblr, now try close to two months with only meager scraps of time online in the late, late night hours. That's been my online life for the last two months. My offline life has been much more chaotic. I am no longer allowed to see certain friends, and the few that I am allowed to see (which equates to four people that they trust) are almost always busy. Church service, which I used to enjoy, has become a prison sentence of sorts. I am required to sit next to them during services, and they have to witness my daily prayers and bible readings. At one point, they decided to "reaffirm" my relationship with Christ. Any contact or conversation I have with them is awkward at best. My mom is always bringing up just how natural sex is, or "trying to make me feel like a girl" by buying me frivolous things that I never wanted. They're trying to straighten me out. Literally (okay, more figuratively, but whatever.) I love God, and I try to love my parents, but it's hard (especially whenever I have to deal with these lovely doubts of depression I have had since seventh grade). I don't blame them, I just... pity them. So, that's pretty much the story behind the music of the lucky founder of Hot Pieces of Ace and why ze suddenly disappeared, all Doctor Who style. I love every one of you who has helped the ace community and/or Hot Pieces of Ace. Your support brings me smiles, rainbows, and unicorns. I hope that clears things up for the lot of you (and I hope you can see why I couldn't exactly post the real reason about my absence until now). So... allons y, molto bene, carpe deim, carpe jugular, hare krishne, auf wiedersehen, and may the force be with you,

<3 Andi.

P.S. Craig Ferguson rocks.
P.P.S. but not as much as Wil Wheaton. — adorkableg33k

En sammanfattning:
Hej, mitt namn är Andi. Det var jag som startade Hot Pieces of Ace och sedan plötsligt försvann.
Jag hade bestämt mig för att aldrig berätta för mina föräldrar att jag är queer och asexuell, eftersom ja vet att de aldrig skulle acceptera det. Tyvärr hittade min mamma mitt konto på AVEN och genom det Hot Pieces of Ace. När jag kom hem från skolan blev jag utfrågad i flera timmar och sedan raderades många av mina konton. Nu får jag inte använda Internet och inte heller får jag umgås med vilka vänner jag vill. Det finns bara fyra stycken som mina föräldrar litar på. I kyrkan blir jag hela tiden bevakad. Mamma försöker få mig att bli mer feminin och pratar dessutom hela tiden om hur naturligt sex är.
Jag uppskattar asexualitetcommunitiet och det stöd jag finner där

Jag har aldrig förut stött på en historia om asexuellofobi som har utmynnat i något annat än elaka kommentarer. Det här är kanske också transfobi och homofobi också, föräldrarna reagerade på Andis engagemang i HBTQ-communities och på Andis "könsuttryck".

Jag hoppas att Andi slipper föräldrarnas fängelse snart och att hen inte blir allt för skadad av upplevelsen.

Appropå asexuella och sexuella, kom och prata med mig och Rikkie på tisdag!

Asexuella och andra - relationer, maktbalans & sexnormer

Arrangör: Nätverket Asexuell

Hur är det att vara asexuell i relation till andra, mer sexuella? Hur handskas en med att det en gör och säger tolkas sexuellt? Vad gör en när sexnormen är att den som har sexuella behov är mest normal och därför har mest rätt? Kan vi stärka varandra att våga uttrycka attraktion utan att oroa oss för att bli missförstådda? Kom med idéer, pepp och erfarenheter! Max 15 deltagare.
Tisdag 27 jul 14:00–14:45
Pride House (Bandler), Kulturhuset & Stockholms stadsteater, Sergels torg 3, T-Centralen
Entré till Pride House 80 kr/dag. Festivalens dag- och veckopass gäller också.


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